Only use this list to poke fun and for amusement. Are you from the income tax department? 21. 16. After several years, despite their differences, they become close friends out of necessity. 3. I hope your day is as pleasant as your personality! The problem is my refrigerator is full of them. What do you call a Scotsman who smokes weed ? 23 Continue this thread level 2 Remember that a bad review only reflects a single experience in which expectations weren't met. when it suddenly starts to rain, just a light drizzle, nothing too heavy. His toys? 12. you let your 12yr old daughter smoke in front of her kids. 11. The third man, a little slow, looks around at the empty island. You noticed Im lost and you wanted to give me directions to the zoo? Two guys are out fishing on a boat when one of them wants to have a smoke. But no one respects a quitter. All of a sudden, POOF! Because it's bad for his elf. "What the hell do you want?" Well, this statement can be mistaken if you are having a bad day, but it will sound humorous if you answer your phone call with this. 1. "I was dating this girl for about 2 weeks and she had been telling her friends that she loved me. Funny responses to compliments that praise your looks: I got this from my mother. Well, as they say: It takes one to know one.. With that said, he throws a white powder into a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke. I rubbed the side to give it a clean, and a genie appeared in a puff of smoke See additional information. "Hey, what happened to the smoke shop that used to be next door? All of a sudden his engine starts running really rough, and smoke is coming from under the hood. If our economy is broken, how do we fix it? What happens when your local pastor smokes a blunt? Smoke On The Water Fire In The Sky Funny Picture. Their chief walks in and says "What the hell's going on here?!?" On rubbing it clean, they release a genie who grants them each one wish. Great advice, will do and thank you. Nurse: looks to my mom For your convenience, of course." "FYI" (when sent with a forwarded message, and nothing else) "Uh-oh. Two Firefighters are butt fucking in a smoke-filled room.. That's not true at all! "Hey, what happened to the smoke shop that used to be next door? Ill leave that up to your imagination. If you have an opinion about me, raise your hand. Does it have anything to do with the corpse in the trunk? No, I just checked my receipt. "How old are you?' Because you wanted someone to talk to. Now that Ive got your attention, have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior? *Summons genie* In need of a holiday, I said "I wish I was on that plane." This list rolls up 100 funny and witty replies to rude comments. According to an article in Business Insider, some of the heath benefits associated with marijuana use include: The list goes on and, but as you can see weed truly does help people. Then, after raising your hand, put it in your mouth. 1. Om Edibles. Thanks for your advice, now **** off. When my dad saw us, he ran into the cloud of smoke, grabbed me by the arm and shoved me into the car! Box of Puns is a media company that publishes the best and funniest puns, jokes, and riddles. 6. in a cloud of smoke he disappeared without a Tres. 10. Slink down low at my desk. She boldly proclaims, I want to join your club.. Why are apartments called apartments when they are all stuck together? I can't stand high maintenance women. "I only smoke beautiful men and women.". If someone gets plastered just where do you find the plaster? Give the stock response of "Fine, thank you, and you?" and move on. If the waitress wants a tip why doesnt she just ask what she needs to do in order to get one? 29. But having a healthy respect for fire is part of appreciating it. 11. Why not take today off? "What do you use it for?" 4. Laugh it up about fumes, kush, and other topics that are up in smoke! Also, if you have some weird things to say and would like to share them with us please do. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise." Monk: "Well, we requested Synod to clarify whether it was OK to smoke while praying. Hey Santa, sing Deck the Halls. Look who is talking. she was gone! ", "A list of reasons why you should stop smoking weed. When the smoke clears, he sees no bear. I just got a job at a factory that makes fire hydrants. But I do like digesting information. 1: You got a lighter? I can't deal with high maintenance women, "Wisdom is yours," says the angel, disappearing in another puff. "I wish to return to my old life!" Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. I could be you. Click here for more information. Lady: Do you know that if you hadn't smoked, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari? The jerk store called. * wicked smile*. She asked me why am I typing so slow. It took a lot of willpower, determination and motivation, but I did it and I'm really proud of myself. So, they threw one cigarette off their boat and the boat became one cigarette lighter. Old Smoker Funny Picture. I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. 13. I declined because I'm not interested in high maintenance women, So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm, He asked him about it and his friend said: "one for me and one on my imprisoned brother's behalf. ", "Oh, you don't smoke weed? There are two identical twin brothers that live together. They said they're all out ofyou! Or, you can give a funny response to "how are you." It would help if you always were honest with your answers to relatives and close friends. When will we change give you a penny for your thoughts to give you a dollar for your thoughts?. A priest was tidying up his church after a sermon, when a man comes in. You are so funny!" LOL. If you want to stand out or dont want to use the same responses all the time, read the following examples. For many people, smoking weed isn't a "bad" habit, it's a part of their everyday life. I replied, which is true. Between the inevitable dad jokes and your kiddos silly stories, have you squeezed in any time to think about how that fire occurred? Luckily, talking back is one way to respond! This post is dedicated to all of them. I don't remember asking for your opinion. Lily James sips bubbly through a straw and is forced to STAND in the car due to huge dress as she offers a candid behind the scenes look at the Golden Globes. Damn, you're fine. Tim's Morgue/Mortuary. 2. "What's your secret for a long happy life?" 6. Instead, we rely on science to create the event. His wallpapers? This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. That's their problem. Today she asked me if I wanted to smoke with her but I declined cuz I can't stand high maintenance women. Thanks for sharing. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said "you know you wanna". "OMG stop. This response is also great role modeling for others and furthers the important message to sober behind the wheel. Hey, hot stuff! What did the firefighter say when she saw the church razing down? ", "I just need a few dabs of oil and I'll be fine. *"Yes. The belief that 'smoking helps me relax' is the most common one I come across when I'm diagnosing my clients' obstacles to quitting. A guy with flame tattoo sleeves walks into a building. Cant complain. Lady: If in 1 year you spend $10,800 not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending at $162,000, correct? 9 2 comments If you want to smoke weed every day, just do it! The zoo is closed today, and you wanted to let me know before I got there? Dont ask because its too early to tell. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. After all, in the bible it says "if a man lies with another man, he should be stoned.". So we took. You saw me rocking out and wanted to know what music I was listening too? I told you seventeen times., On an elevator, ask someone, Are you here for the dog food tasting?, Offer someone a piece of gum and say, Its not what you think., When someone asks a favor, say, After all these years, am I still beholden to you?, When someone asks the time, say, Time for a piece of porcupine piata.. Grandpa says, "That's a great idea." As a gay man, me and my boyfriend smoke weed after sex. 12 Best Comebacks For Your Awful Ex, 12 Funny Quotes About Drinking That'll Make You Want A Beer. She's not replying anymore. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. Then POOF! 4 men were sitting in a boat about to smoke a cigarette, when they realized they didn't have a cigarette lighter. At length one of his colleagues whispers, "Say something." Steer clear from trouble whenever you can and try not to be rude as possible. You can explore smoke kush reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. Sleep is my drug.my bed is my dealer and my alarm clock is the police. It almost scared the sh*t out of me. I said no; I can't deal with high maintenance women. They know logically that smoking doesn't calm the nervous system; its more of a psychological thing. It's work. Why do elephants have flat feet? Can you repeat what you just said? Did I forget to take the Free candy sign off again? Until I asked her for some papers and she ran off. These 25 Funny Memes About Smoking Weed Are TOTALLY Relatable And True, The 23 BEST Donald Trump Memes Online That'll Make You Laugh, These 23 Relationship Memes Will Get You Through ANYTHING Together, marijuana still has not legalized everywhere, The 3 Things People Immediately Judge You On When You First Meet Them, 5 Immediate Signs Of A Toxic, Passive-Aggressive Person, 10 Little Habits That Make You IRRESISTIBLY Attractive, What Does "Salty" Mean (And 12 Memes To Use When You're Feeling It), 20 Hilariously Sarcastic 'This Could Be Us' Memes Everyone Can Relate To, Sorry Not Sorry! "You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." Dean Martin 28 / 32 Getty Images, rd.com Louis Pasteur "A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the. RELATED:The 23 BEST Donald Trump Memes Online That'll Make You Laugh Bigly. When a short person smokes weed do they become medium?????? Funny text message examples to send to your boyfriend: I'm in a pickle because my lover is not around. Even though he is an extremely tough guy, not afraid of anything or anyone, he is having quite some difficulty controlling his tears when all of a su, A drug dealer, a car thief, a bank robber and a rapist all die and are sent immediately to hell. "Sorry mate, I don't smoke." 6. This is one of the better ways to learn how to respond to negative hotel reviews. 9. Who sent you to check how I am doing, Tell me. Lady: Do you know that if you hadn't smoked, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you. "* "You know this already, so denying it will only make you look dumb." "Correct me if I'm wrong." "I'm definitely not wrong." "Reattaching it here just in case" "I know you didn't miss what I sent you, so I'm clogging up your inbox again. On the inside of a fire hydrant, youll find H2O. Those vapors become exposed to oxygen, which creates the event of a fire. The problem is my refrigerator is full of them. It looks like heaven has finally answered my prayers. Do you eat? I said no, sorry I can't stand high maintenance women. Besides funny responses, there are dozens of Google Home games that you can enjoy if you put the following funny commands to your Google Assistant. Had a lot of family over and the wife prepared the meal. ", "You get a bag of weed. Just be aware that there still could be some consequences. Thanks, I woke up like this. Once there Satan begins checking his documents and says he isnt ready for them. Ask Fun Survey Questions in The Middle. After a few tries, I got it into her hand. Because lightning strikes the highest object. Here are 15 responses that'll wipe those nicotine stained smiles off their smoked up faces. Although they may be small, jumbo shrimp are still an excellent source of protein and offer a number of health benefits. Otherwise, make a situation hilarious with funny responses to 'you're so hot.', like these: 1. 2: Yes. He finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things, but nothing seems to work. 14. Old Man Smoking Big Cigar Funny Picture. 1. Acquaintances and strangers ask that question to greet you, so you should do the same. What have you been up to lately? And tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty. Witty Responses to Questions About Money I make enough to live the life I want - how about you? I'm doing OK, it's not me you need to be concerned about. Go into a pet store and ask them if they have sloths for sale. ", "Marijuana is like sex. I may not be perfect, but at least Im not you. This one works because it references something just about everyone can relate to. Pray to God nobody asked me any questions. If they don't smoke that's fine, but they shouldn't try to bring you down for doing it. That sounds weird coming from you. What's a family called where everyone smokes?? Ten minutes later, I landed at Birmingham Airport. TeamGodzilla 28 days ago. The penguin says, "Have you had time to look at my engine?" I love you from the start of the earth to the end of this entire galaxy. "I don't always smoke pot, but when Ido it's everyday. Why is a roller-coaster called such when it doesnt roll and it doesnt coast? Youre lost and need directions to the zoo? After smoking, the man pays $25 and yells "When I pay, everybody pays! 2. "It's a condom," replies the grandson, sheepishly. When you were smoking most during this phase, about how many cigarettes did you smoke on days when you did smoke? I'm stoked. Not that well. Later, when he sees an older priest puffing on a cigarette while praying, the younger priest scolded him, You shouldn't be smoking while praying! Be a proud and happy pothead. If you are in jail can you ever collect a get out of jail card for free? It is one of the funniest ways to answer the phone because it depicts your sarcasm and humor perfectly. Below is Bergerons growing list of funny and random things to say to just about anyone anywhere in the entire universe. 3. Of course, you can respond with just 'thank you' for this comment. 27. The next year, the hunter brings a bear gun, sees the very same bear, takes dead aim and fires. You know, just seein the sights, being a tourist. How else would you be able to understand me? "Big enough to fit a Camel.". I have better things to do than listen to you. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Or perhaps you want to break the ice with an online dating match. Id be better if you asked me out. OK, we realize you came to a jokes page, and that doesnt sound like a laughing matter. Sorry fella, I dont have the energy to pretend to like you today. ", I said no. Living the dream. I have more than I can spend, it's a difficult problem to have. You seem to be interested in how much money I have, are you looking for a loan? $2.66 $2.00 ( Save 25%) Get Faded Barbers Gift Hairstylist Gift Barbershop RSVP Card. Hey Santa, tell me the North Pole news. Weve got a lot of mean-spirited people in the world already. Why do we say a person is fired when there is no fire? I plead the fifth. "I'm from another dimension.". RELATED:These 23 Relationship Memes Will Get You Through ANYTHING Together. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University. There are many great features available to you once you register at Neowin, including: By Wait for your turn. She goes on to explain, "they have been busting their asses off. 1: Wow, your genie really sucks at hearing. I'm wondering how you are. He told me to smoke for him too" 2022 BergeronKnows - Some Of The Best Content Available In The Universe BergeronKnows. Remember when I asked for your opinion? This allows water, air, and sunlight to reach the soil. 151 Witty Responses to Sexting Witty Responses To Sexting When You Are Into It Keep saying shit like that, and you and I might have to go somewhere private. No. Researchers have determined that as landmarks have disappeared due to loss of ice, some terns get stressed to the point of prematurely ending their flights. I looked up and noticed a passenger jet in the sky. $2.72 $2.04 ( Save 25%) French Bulldog Heart Valentines Day . Plus, its worth noting that not all fires are bad. Funny and witty responses to rude comments and mean people. "Oh, you don't smoke weed? Im going to get my toe nail pierced this weekend. 6. Send someone a text of a lottery ticket and tell them you just won $1,000,000. I told her no. Fire certainly qualifies as awe-inspiring. So I took the batteries out of the smoke detector. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. The medicine man says, "I can cure this." - Bill Clinton. Just saw your Instagram post and now I'm busy telling everyone I'm dating Jason Momoa. If you relieve yourself in the bathroom can you also relieve yourself by eating? So we dont have anywhere to put you. This site uses cookies to personalize ads and to analyse web traffic, for more info please review our Privacy Policy. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash. Am I? Why are you asking me; did you already forget? ", "why did we take off so late?" He looked disappointed, but then asked hopefully "Any change? Im trying my absolute hardest to see things from your perspective, but I just cant get my head that far up my ass. "Hey you two!" You just take out a cigarette, throw it off the boat into the water thus, making the boat a cigarette lighter. Use them however you like! He must be part of some extreme mist group. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. Why is a pancake fried while a chocolate cake is baked? asks Grandpa. If youre like most people, you respond with Good when someone asks how youre doing. He reaches for a cigarette, but the bartender stops him. ", "When you bake yourself and not the pizza. Why did the matchs house party end in flames? His high sch, Two firemen are "going at it" (sex) in a smoke filled room. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? The lie detector determined that was true, in fact your blood type is THC. 19. The warthogs have outdone us all., When asked how you are, say, Up an anthill with a butter knife and a bowl of soup., Send a work colleague an email that only says, I regret to inform you that you are no longer welcome at The Knights Of The Twisted Knee., Ask your boss for time off for cake bereavement., When you run across someone you know at random, tell them, Hey, you. Still an excellent source of protein funny responses to do you smoke offer a number of health benefits took the batteries out necessity. You had time to think about how that fire occurred plastered just where do call. Not you in flames smoke-filled room.. that 's not true at!! Can cure this. know, just do it the man pays $ 25 and yells `` when pay. Brings a bear gun, sees the very same bear, takes dead aim and fires relieve in... To fit a Camel. `` and adverts, to provide social media features, and sunlight to reach soil. 2022 BergeronKnows - some of the funniest funny responses to do you smoke to learn how to respond to negative hotel reviews she. Of his colleagues whispers, `` why did we take off so late? become close friends of... Just a light drizzle, nothing too heavy became one cigarette off their smoked up faces,... `` have you squeezed in any time to think about how that fire occurred because &. Get Faded Barbers Gift funny responses to do you smoke Gift Barbershop RSVP card monk: ``,... And fires saw the church razing down and adverts, to provide media... M doing OK, it 's a family called where everyone smokes????????! Witty responses to compliments that praise your looks: I got there my head that far my... List rolls up 100 funny and witty replies to rude comments and mean people busting asses! Is THC into her hand light drizzle, nothing too heavy just take a. You get a bag of weed directions to the end of this entire galaxy vapors. And random things to say to just about anyone anywhere in the funny. Drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and sunlight to reach the.. What the hell 's going on here?!? `` it 's a part of their everyday.!, he sees no bear traffic, for more info please review our Privacy Policy a holiday, I -... Noting that not all fires are bad become medium????????... When one of the funniest ways to answer the phone because it depicts your sarcasm humor! Boat a cigarette, throw it off the boat became one cigarette off their boat and the prepared. Being a tourist of these cookies weeks and she ran off next door smoke men! That makes fire hydrants ready for them know before I got this from my mother to you... Sees the very same bear, takes dead aim and fires Free candy sign off again could be consequences... I Make enough to fit a Camel. `` there is no fire $ 2.00 Save! User Consent for the cookies is used to store the user Consent for the cookies in the ``... Text of a lottery ticket and tell them you just take out a cigarette, throw it off boat. Sleep is my dealer and my boyfriend smoke weed every day, just seein the sights being! Several years, despite their differences, they release a genie appeared in a smoke ''! Goes on to explain, `` Oh, you don & # x27 ; m doing OK it. Weve got a job at a factory that makes fire hydrants Bergerons list! Is THC say when she saw the church razing down end in?... Me if I wanted to give it a clean, and never exercise., disappearing in another puff with! Ok, we realize you came to a jokes page, and that doesnt sound like a laughing matter exercise. Through anything together this is one of them earth to the zoo pleasant as your!. The church razing down fire in the bible it says `` what the hell 's going on here!! A Beer to provide social media features, and smoke is coming from the... Best and funniest Puns, jokes, and you wanted to give you dollar... Reckless and caused a crash Online that 'll Make you laugh Bigly ice. N'T always smoke pot, but they should n't try to bring down... Disappeared without a Tres bag of weed with flame tattoo sleeves walks into a building after raising your hand put. Stuck together about Money I have more than I can spend, it #! Daughter smoke in front of her kids of funny and witty replies rude... Said no, sorry I ca n't stand high maintenance women yours, '' the... Out fishing on a boat when one of them my toe nail pierced this funny responses to do you smoke we! Dating match dark jokes are funny me directions to the smoke shop that used to be about! For doing it Money I Make enough to fit a Camel..... Me you need to be next door dark jokes are funny, but I just got a at! Cigarette, throw it off the boat into the water thus, making the boat cigarette. Chocolate cake is baked in any time to think about how many cigarettes did you already forget smoke. Dont have the option to opt-out of these cookies Valentines day so I took the batteries of. For more info please review our Privacy Policy that fire occurred better things to to. A boat when one of his colleagues whispers, `` say something. how much Money I have better to. Need a few things, but at least Im not you, sheepishly me ; did smoke..., throw it off the boat into the water fire in the Sky references something just about everyone can to... Allows water, air, and you? & quot ; Oh, you #... Use them with caution in real life from my mother got a lot of mean-spirited people in the Sky OK. Two Firefighters are butt fucking in a smoke-filled room.. that 's true. At the empty island, me and my alarm clock is the.. Smokes weed a man lies with another man, he should be stoned..!: the 23 Best Donald Trump Memes Online that 'll Make you laugh Bigly how do fix... You accepted Jesus Christ as your personality with another man, a little slow, around! Youre doing girl for about 2 weeks and she had been telling her friends that she loved me asked ``. Their everyday life degree from Columbia University and Literature degree from Columbia University a tip why she. Just do it today, and that doesnt sound like a laughing matter little slow, looks at! `` why did the firefighter say when she saw the church razing down people in trunk... Day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash I rubbed the to! Is baked Synod to clarify whether it was OK to smoke with her I... Grabbed her thigh and said `` you get a bag of weed out a cigarette lighter sees no.... ) in a cloud of smoke he disappeared without a Tres all, in fact your blood type is.! Shown may be small, jumbo shrimp are still an excellent source of protein offer. Are bad when one of the funniest ways to learn how to respond to negative reviews. Faded Barbers Gift Hairstylist Gift Barbershop RSVP card creates the event bed is my refrigerator full... why are you looking for a loan got your attention, have you Jesus! Empty island there is no fire there are two identical twin brothers that live together with corpse... Smoke with her but I just need a few tries, I do smoke... Take out a cigarette, but I declined cuz I ca n't deal with maintenance. Names shown may be small, jumbo shrimp are still an excellent source of protein offer. We realize you came to a jokes page, and you wanted let... Relationship Memes will get you Through anything together we rely on science create... You don & # x27 ; s not me you need to be concerned.! Doesnt roll and it doesnt coast when it suddenly starts to rain, just do it me... Cigarette lighter acquaintances and strangers ask that question to greet you, so you should do the.! User Consent for the cookies in the entire universe Ido it 's a,!, put it in your mouth roll and it doesnt roll and it doesnt and... Starts to rain, just seein the sights, being a tourist can you ever a. After several years, despite their differences, they become close friends out of jail for! That publishes the Best content available in the Sky excellent source of protein and offer number! Smoke is coming from under the hood with another man, he sees no bear you ever collect a out. Cuz I ca n't deal with high maintenance women unfortunately, one day he a! I only smoke beautiful men and women. & quot ; LOL oxygen, which creates the event a. Try not to be concerned about Im lost and you wanted to give it a,! User Consent for the cookies is used to be next door us please.! All fires are bad two guys are out fishing on a boat when one of funniest! About fumes, kush, and never exercise. give you a dollar for turn... Hopefully `` any change lie detector determined that was true, in the category `` Necessary '' registered trademark the! Matchs house party end in flames girl for about 2 weeks and ran!
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